I don’t want to hear you say it shouldn’t really be this way, ‘cause I like this way just fine #1
oil on panel
28"x36"
The Winchester show seems to be marking a change in the way I paint.

Recent comments from people, combined with the watching of a video of my good friend Jim Gordaneer reminded me of all the basic things we have talked about for years: paint up close, for at least an hour before standing back to look, don't judge while painting, look and listen to what the painting is telling you, use colour intuitively, and use your chosen subject matter as a container within which to do all the things you want to do with paint. This last point was the one that instigated a full revalation--use the disaster imagery, each photograph or combinations thereof, as containers for all the things I want to do with paint. In other words don't be a slave to the original photograph--paint freely and quickly and use colour intuitively, as I used to do when painting abstract paintings years ago, except that now I have the photo as a jumping off point.

Two new directions have suggested themselves to me over the last week or so. One is to make the work less "contained", less still and quiet, and, as suggested by one viewer,  conveying more of the emotion that might normally be associated with the subject matter. My first reaction to this suggestion was that the understated manner of painting rightly avoids overdramatizing an already dramatic subject--that a level of emotional detachment is not only fitting, but simply feels right to me, which is really all I have to go on--the gut instinct, so to speak. But it did occur to me to start painting more violent imagery--less quiet and still.  The second direction I thought of is to emphasize what people have seen in them, and make them even more peaceful, more beautiful, even pretty. This second possible direction, almost opposite the first, came to me while painting. So far, I think my answer to which direction to go in is to do both--use a freer, less contained approach with my brushwork, while balancing the possibly overdramatic effect of this with a brighter, more colourful palette (for lack of a better term). I should end up with an interesting juxtaposition of violent subject matter with pretty colours. We'll see....

finished now

This is a series of photographs over a couple of weeks of a painting I think I'll title "I'm just wasting away wondering if I'll always love you" (lyrics from a Richard Buckner song). I think it gets pretty close to that tenuous feeling I'm trying to get at--a "feeling" that if put into words could have synonyms--but because it's a visual event it can have no synonyms--I'll never be able to perfectly express that feeling--but I'll get close sometimes--and what I think of as that feeling will change over time --can't help that. Soutine said every painting was trying to get the scream out that he felt at the base of his throat. The feeling im after isn't quite as dramatic maybe--but I know what he means. Love that guy.

took some of my own photos the other day--fluke--stopped to get samosas and found a parking lot with smashed cars in it!--a little different feeling than coming across photos of real accident scenes--we'll see how it goes--aesthetically it's perfect--lots of wet pavement, effects from the camera such as rain spots and the flash on crumpled metal. love it!